SEO SERVICES - What other services do you offer?

RAM Rotation Service
Did you know it's important to rotate your RAM ever 20,000 hits? Most SEO's (dumb asses) have no idea how important it is. Uber SEO Company knows that your RAM will start to show signs of wear spots and this could slow down the acceleration to the first page.

Aromatherapy
We take aromatic scents and introduce them into your server environment. It is a well know fact that any website on a web server that has aromatherpy will increase it's rankings, plus it helps prevention of disease & viruses.

Electrical System Integration
Nothing too fancy here, we ensure your website is plugged into the wall.

Safety Inspections
There are many things that can cause harm to you and others. For one, not paying us on time can result in bodily harm. So as part of the safety inspection process we will highly recommend you pay us up front first. Secondly, some websites may play cutesy music or have really shitty designs. When people hear the music they might want to hurt you or people around them, not to mention some designs have know to cause blindness. You don't want that on your conscience, so let us do our inspections to determine how crappy your site really is.

Keyword Filtration Service
Don't get caught up in the major keywords you want to rank your site for because it won't happen. Main keywords are too hard even for Google itself. That's why we offer our Keyword Filtration Service which looks for keyword phrases that are 11 to 13 words long. Think about it, why rank for 'web design' when you can rank for rich keywords like 'web design geek in the city of Morgan Hill that takes paypal' so you will get our full Keyword Filtration Service.

PPC Managment
We will manage your PHP, PNG & CSS files. These are important files to manage and if they are lost or stolen we will take care of it. We will keep copies of the files (under our bed) in the event they are lost. In the event they are stolen we will have our slutty sisters boyfriend Vinny-The-Pouch handle it. "The Pouch" as the neighborhood kids call him, doesn't file any DCMA paper work rather he drives over the the address on the whois information with his baseball bat and then beats the fuck out of the offending party.

Other Services

We try and sell our extensive collection of comic books and are found on Friday and Saturday nights between 9PM and 1AM in front of Frankie's Comic Book Emporium.